So, I have been busy and it's been quite awhile since I posted. Life has been extremely busy and somewhat complex. Since I last wrote, I have worked many 50-60 hour weeks, attended 2 funerals (that were far from expected), went on our first cruise (and first vacation since our honeymoon 6 years ago), fought the flu and dealt with some challenging life situations.
With everything going on, I realized the other day that something very exciting has happened this year... I know what friendship is. Now, that may sound cliche or light and easy without much depth. But, it was a true revelation in my heart that occurred recently. Friendship is not just a history with a person. Friendship is not just who you hang out with. I consider myself blessed to have so many friends, but there is a difference between "friends" and "friendship". You can have met thousands of people over the years and have hundreds of Facebook friends to prove how rich your life has been in experiences. But the ACT of friendship... that is something current, something that flows into life every day (if you are blessed, like me). It's not just one relationship. I used to think a good friend was someone you'd known your whole life. And I do have friends I'm so glad to still be in touch with. But... well, let me just give you an example of a Friend versus Friendship....
My friend, Beth. We have been friends since I was in fifth grade. Oh, goodness... So that's... 24 years or so. Wow. Okay, so I love Beth. We have been through lots of things in life together. (some great memories, some things of which we can't remember and some of which we may choose not to!) But, I moved here to Nashville 10 years ago. And a lot happens in 10 years. Everyday life happens and shifts things and relationships. It's like a plant. The plant starts small and in a pot, on a ledge, placed next to other small plants. Then one day, the plant is taken far away and eventually decided to be put into the ground in this new location. It begins to form roots in this new location. That's how it is with me and I'm sure with anyone who has moved away from their hometown and suddenly one day realizes - their "new adventure" is now their HOME. Anyway, back to Beth... If she called me and needed real help right now, I would do whatever I could for her, including driving back to IL to help her. When my real mom passed away in May, Beth fixed my hair for the funeral. She cut it, colored it and styled it. She didn't charge me a penny. Not only that, but it was so comforting being there with her and talking to her. I knew that she understood my childhood and that she could understand what I was going through. She hugged me and loved me. She even came to the funeral. It meant SO much to me - just what I needed that day. THAT is friendship, flowing into life. It's not just because we knew each other way back when. It's not just about the past or because we're expected to be friends with someone. It's about love and compassion during the current moment at hand.
I use this example to say that while Beth is my friend (dear friend) we don't experience friendship every day because we are not together anymore (two different states and different lives). BUT the great news is God has blessed me with friendship in several places. MY POINT IS: I think often times, we get our feelings hurt because a friend isn't doing for us what we expect. Either they are not always able to be there when we need them, or maybe they don't do for us what we have done or would do for them in the same situation. Or perhaps the person that once filled a certain role for us is no longer able to fill that role. I know life can be disappointing and so can people. But GOD is never disappointing! And HE has blessed me with friendship beyond words. If I really need someone to do XYZ for me... Maybe I'm expecting Susan to do it because I did it for her just a few weeks ago. But maybe Susan is no good at doing that or she doesn't have time right now. I shouldn't get wrapped up in that! The truth is - if it really is a need I have - just wait... Bonnie comes along and does just what I need. But sometimes, we can't even appreciate Bonnie (besides throwing her a simple "thanks") because we are too wrapped up in "why isn't Susan doing this?!" Look, I'm not saying you should ever be a slave to someone and have a completely one-way relationship. But... at the same time... I'm no longer sure that's it not okay to have one-way relationships to an extent. Sometimes, there are people who just need the encouragement and experience that only you can give. And sometimes, there are people who love me and are there for me in ways that I think "Wow, I can never repay them". But that is where balance can come in, if only we would allow it.
The truth is this: We need to stop looking at friendships like bank accounts with humans (When's the last time I made a deposit? What's my balance? Crap - is this going to make me overdrawn? Hey - there should be savings in there I can pull from in this emergency!) Instead, we should look at friendship as this living, breathing thing that God surrounds you with. It's a network of life. It's truly a web that is intricately sewn around a group of people you know. God will sew in perfectly and weave it to make it stronger and stronger with each new strand. You will go through things, you will not be as close for awhile, then you will be inseparable... as God stitches together this network. Then, one day you realize... I am smack dab in the middle of an amazing thing! God has woven this perfect net underneath me, from which I will never fall. I will never be alone. I will always have the right dose of love and help when I need it most.
So, how did I finally realize this? After the past year - it became obvious. Between grief, medical emergencies and the like... When you have no time to figure out what friend to call and you don't have the time to sit down and calculate which bank account to draw from... I remember after my surgery - feeling disappointed about some of the friends who didn't call to check in on me. Hadn't they realized what I had went through? I mean, it wasn't like I'd just had a broken toe! Come on! I know it wasn't cancer, but it was very serious in my world - where were they?!! Then God so gently said "Look up" I was laying on the couch and right above it is the snack bar where we sit decorations. I looked up to see several flower arrangements and cards and even some drink cups from a restaurant where friends had brought over food. I remember instantly crying. I had been such a baby! People were taking care of me - people I had never expected. And the truth was - THAT is where the MIRACLE should have been seen!! I had people rushing to help me I had never expected!! I later found out some of my other friends had issues come up with kids or life, etc. They hadn't forgotten me. They had prayed for me. And they called when they could and loved on me when they could. And God had filled their roles with all these other amazing people! And through that - he made my beautiful web stronger and mightier!!! Then, a month later - my real mom died. Two weeks ago, Dustin's grandfather suddenly passed away. In both situations, we were blessed with amazing friendship. And in between all that, this Summer - we celebrated our new jobs. And so many friends celebrated with us.
So, now... I thank God! Not for one friend. Not for one situation. I thank God for the friendship in my life! I am such a blessed lady that I don't know how to "repay" anyone. But that's the cool thing! I don't have to! It's not a bank account, after all! I just have to live and love these women (and some of my brothers) when God leads me to! When I feel lead to bless someone with something - it's not because of what they've done for me. It's not because they "deserve" it. It's because GOD is the one weaving this all together! This is HIS web and I'm just so stinking amazed at the piece I get to sit in the middle of!!!
I'd like to give a shout out to some of the strands supporting my web this year! Just remember - this is in no order or ranking or intention to leave anyone out. If I did, I apologize! But, it's not a bank account. Remember - not about friends: it's about friendship.
Beth Farris Mays, Twylla (& Keith) Foust, Leeann (& Anthony) Cooper, Mindy (& Nick) Longo, Michelle (& David) Garcia, Leah (& Corey) Cross, Julie (& Tim) Tupper, Regina (& Ryan) McNeil Wentz, Jen Anderson, Tania (& Mark) Pierce, Crystal Kensinger, Donna Whitley, Jaime Johnson, Rebecca Vajdos, Autumn Stanford, Miriam-Danielle (& Eric) Laidlaw, Maegan Buchanan, Taira Baughman, Ashley King, Jenn York, Erik Garcia, Kelly (& Keith) Terrillion, Cathy (& Matthew) Courtney, Lindsey Bevis Rich (friend AND family) Pastor Dave & Pastor Rob & Pastor Jim (what amazing pastors I have!!!!), Mrs. Anne; my doctors: Dr. Holloway & Dr. McGuire (they are friends now); Jamie Kirschner, Amber Davis, Jennifer Norquist Taylor, Jessica Oettel, April Gammon, Wendy Dujardin & Laura Jones (amazing Facebook and direct messaging encouragers!); Angie Kabat, Sabrina Shun, Ryan & Brandon Huston, Carl & Valerie Bundy, Garry & Nena Rightnowar, Amber Shelton, Billy Fields, Chris & Melanie Donoho, Jamie Bernard Fradelos (friends from Illinois showing friendship); SOOOO many other people from my church family that I sadly just cannot name you all (but know that you are loved!); my momma (Martha Peek), and of course - my best friend in the whole world, my best gift from God, Dustin Resch! I love you with all my heart!
IF I LEFT YOU OFF THE LIST... I apologize. I'm tired, I'm at work. But - I was trying to think of people who said or did things at just the right moment. People GOD used. So if I forgot you, take it up with Him! ;) hehe Seriously, if I listed everyone in the web, I'd be here all day and I have a job to get back to. Just remember - friendship is not a bank account. So don't hold it against me. ;)
Again, this is just a portion of my web. GOD is the center of the whole thing and to HIM, I give all praise and thanks for the miracles in my life, one of the most amazing being friendship.
Have a great Friday, everyone!!! Show some friendship this weekend!
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