Things are not as they seem...

I've been thinking a lot lately about how things are not always as they seem. I've been struggling to find mercy and understanding in situations that SEEM to be "unfair" in my eyes. Honestly, this is something I've been trying to understand the past couple years as we have went through some challenges. But just recently God spoke to my heart about this, simply making me understand that by now (with all I've been through) I should understand that life isn't that black and white. Things are often not as they seem.

Dustin and I have had financial challenges for the past... 7+ years. It's been a roller coaster of ups and downs but God has ALWAYS taken care of us and in the end, the pressure of it all was way worse than any actual consequences. Which should make me understand that I need NOT be pressured! Or worried! God has proven over and over again that despite what the situations look like, HE is our provider and He is very creative in taking care of us. We are doing much better now and on the cusp of something fairly big (for us). I will share more about that in the near future. :) In the meantime, I wanted to share some of my challenges and revelations in hopes that they can help others... It's not all about finances, no - we hit the "Big 3": finances, healthy & family. Here is a nutshell of things I THOUGHT were one way and turned out to be another.

A couple years ago, when I was praying to God to bring us our breakthrough, it felt like everyone around us was getting theirs. I had a couple friends who were doing extremely well (or so I thought). Then the wife called me one day crying because they were behind on all their bills and they were over $100,000 in debt. I ended up counseling her.
Things were not as they had seemed.

Around that same time, Kismet (my design company) got a new client who promised us the world. They loved our work and wanted us on their team as they built their new empire of a business. I was so excited! This was it - this was the breakthrough!! Because of my excitement, I broke my business policies in getting money upfront. And when they had banking issues and asked if I could wait for what was due me and keep working, I agreed. In the end, they were a scam company that got set up, ripped off a bunch of customers AND vendors and then shut down and vanished. $6000.00 I was owed - GONE! It took us a year and a half to FIND the guy and get him into court. We won & finally got paid. But I learned a valuable lesson from that as well. [NOTE: At that same time, another new client was going to take us to Hawaii so we could help them with some of their resorts there. They were just working out dates. Yep, scam as well.]
Things were not as they had seemed.

On the other side of that... Relish (my stationery company) had been getting lots of calls last Summer about invitations, but nothing had come through. Then I had a message one day from someone that was representing Loretta Lynn and they wanted us to do invitations for her event. WHAT? Then, I found out it was going to be a relatively "small job" most likely. Therefore, I did not get too excited. But, it was real. And the job just kept growing! I mean... HUGE BUDGET! The one order ended up bringing in as much money as our whole company had brought in the year before! I had no idea that phone message would end up being so big!
Things were not as they seemed.

More recently....

I had been feeling increasingly worse for the past couple years when it came to one week out of the month. Then, in January things got extremely bad, not just for that one week, but there was severe pain by my bladder. I saw my family doctor in March, who referred me to my gyno. I just knew it was Pelvic Inflammatory Disease or a Cyst because I'd been diagnosed with those at 18 and the pain was very similar. The gyno made me get ultrasounds to get a confirmed diagnosis. I got a phone call that shocked me. They said I had a wall in my uterus and scar tissue that they thought was indicative of Endometriosis. Both of these things were not on my radar at all. They told me I needed surgery immediately and also told me risks of not getting pregnant. But I just knew all I had needed was a shot! Turns out, the doctor thinks I had Endo all along, probably at 18. When I went on birth control for the cyst, it probably put the Endo in remission. I went off birth control (for other health reasons) two years ago, and so...
Things were not as they seemed.

When I went in for surgery at the end of April - there was lots of Endometriosis, but NO WALL! My doctor called so excited about the news. They thought they saw something on the ultrasound, but...
Things were not as they seemed (my God is an awesome Healing God!!!)

When my birth mother passed away on Memorial Day this year, I experienced emotions I had not expected. She had left me (multiple times) when I was a child and then ultimately given me up for adoption to my grandparents. Though I had sincerely forgiven her, I didn't think I had deep feelings for her, since I felt like I barely knew her. But...
Things were not as they seemed. I had a deep love for her I cannot explain, and a new compassion that has sprung forth out of me because of it!

During all I've been through, I have had many friends reach out to me, sometimes friends I did not expect. And I have cried many tears of JOY! SO MANY in fact! People are quick to assume the tears are of sadness, but...
Things are not as they seem.

So where is all of this coming from Stephanie? Well, recently Dustin & I have had some new opportunities present themselves. But in this journey, I have kept saying to God "But I never saw this part in the plan. You never showed this to me. This must not be from you." And He recently, quietly put on my heart "Things are not as they seem". In other words, just because I thought the Big Plan and vision He's put on our lives includes A, B & C... That doesn't mean it doesn't also include D, E, F & G. AND just because things look a little different than I had envisioned, that doesn't mean the ultimate plan / vision He's given me isn't the same. It is! The destination is the same, even if the journey looks different than you'd planned!

Just because you FEEL a certain way about how things look around you, whether in your own life or in others... don't be so quick to judge and to try to figure it all out yourself. God KNOWS the whole truth and the journey from beginning to end. If you look back, I'm sure you'll discover many of your own moments of "Wow, that was not what it seemed!" AND you will probably discover you are still on a path to greatness and a big vision He's given you. So, don't get all wrapped up in the way the package looks. TRUST GOD that A) He is your provider (financial, health & family!!!) and B) It doesn't matter!!! :) If He has a plan for you, and you trust HIM - it doesn't matter what the journey looks like as long as you are following Him!!!


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11